An Interview With Cleo Barker Of The Will’s Downfall Saga

By Charles Lindberger (Noted Interviewer)

Interviewer: Hello.

Cleo: Hey, how are you? You’ll um… have to excuse me. I’m just so excited to be ableto talk to my fans! (Bites lip.)

I: It’s understandable. So, what can you tell us about the third and final chapterof the series?

Cleo: Well, I really don’t know. I haven’t been there yet. Everything’s been kept on ahush – hush basis. I only get a few pages at a time.

I: Pages, as in a movie script?

Cleo: Kinda sorta. You see, I’m in another dimension.

I: Another dimension?

Cleo: Yeah. I don’t want to bore you with all the details. All I know, is that when I get afew pages of the novel, I’m supposed to go act them out.

I: Why?

Cleo: Because that’s my job. I’m a literary character. But that doesn’t mean that I don’texist. I mean, I’ve got to be alive in some form if I’m talking to you right now.

I: Makes sense, I guess. But does that mean that the whale from Moby Dick, oreven Roland Deschain from The Dark Tower might very well be alive andkicking in some world out there beyond our understanding?

Cleo: How should I know? You make it seem as if I’ve got him on speed dial orsomething, and I tell you – that is most definitely not the case.

I: I apologize. What can you tell me about Will?

Cleo: Well, besides the fact that he’s a right bloody asshole most of the time; he’s adecent father. Doesn’t bring the hammer down enough, I’ve always assumed that menwere the hammer in a relationship – but it seems that times have changed.

I: How are the children?

Cleo: You’ll never know. The last thing we need is more paparazzo’s running about theplace taking more bloody pictures.

I: Wow. I never expected to hear anything like that.

Cleo: What can I say? One in million. Rare as red tootsie rolls, I guess.

I: What? Red tootsie rolls aren’t that rare, you can get them in a bag withseveral other colors…

Cleo: Who’s being interviewed? You, or me?

I: Sorry. What can you tell us about something called, “Beyond Human?” Iapologize if this is an important question, but inquiring minds want to know.

Cleo: Certainly. Beyond Human is a sort of drug, let’s call it an “unlocker of hiddenpotential.” But the problem is that people aren’t able to process it. The original versionmade me what I am today – truly superhuman.

(She lights one of her fingers on fire with just a thought, to prove her point.Remarkable!)

Cleo: But the version that they made later was something of an offshoot – it wasturning people into monsters. Vicious monsters, ugly ones at that. They always marketit at malls, where people still seem to gather; despite the boom of online shopping.

I: Do you shop online?

Cleo: I’m human, so yes. And it’s IRREVELANT whether or not I shop online. Capsdenote the fact that I’m getting IRRITATED.

I: You work at an occult shop in Los Angeles. Sticks and Stones, right?

Cleo: Yes. That’s the name of the shop. What do you want to know about it? Are youhere to tell me that I’m heading to hell? Well, I’ve BEEN THERE before and I didn’tfucking care much for it.

I: No, not by any means. But have you ever had any…

Cleo: Run-in’s? You do mean people that try to purport their faith on me, right? Ofcourse. But do you know what I tell them in return? I say to them one simple phrasethat has always proven effective: “To each, their own.”

I: That’s all you’ll say on the subject?

Cleo: I don’t believe there’s anything I need to add to that subject. We each have ourdifferent ideas of life, whether we choose to worship one god, twenty gods, fourhundred gods, or none at all. This is our choice as human beings. I’ve simply chosenmine.

I: Word is that your husband’s an atheist.

Cleo: He likes to refer to himself as a “scientist” even though he probably couldn’tdiscern the difference between a hypothesis and hypotenuse.

I: What’s a…?

Cleo: A hypotenuse is the longest side of a right triangle. A hypothesis is an “educatedguess.” Which means that you have at least some sort of information to back up thatguess. Instead of saying, “the sky is blue because it is”, you say “Is the sky bluebecause of the atmospheric pressure, or because of the electromagnetism in the air?”Which neither of these factors actually govern the color of the sky, I’m just rattling offof the top of my head.

I: You certainly know your science. It surprises me that someone who woulddeclare themselves a witch, would also know a great deal about somethingwhich doesn’t necessarily consider magic a true “force.”

Cleo: I see your point – but I believe that science and the occult (the unknown for allsakes and purposes here) go hand in hand when you combine them together. Yousee, quantum physicists are just now finding out what people who study the occult andmetaphysics have known for years:

A. There is an unknown energy that “moves” things. It can be controlled.

B. That energy connects everything to everything else by the use of tiny strings thatare smaller than the smallest particle. They’re calling it “Super String Theory.”

C. If we all tapped into that energy and would come to realize it’s significance – theworld would be a much better place. The chair that I’m sitting in doesn’t look like it’sconnected to me, but the energy that I share with that chair is what connects me to it.If for some reason my energy was different than that of the chair, then the chair wouldprobably reject me and I would not be able to sit in it. Which would be pretty funny, I’dimagine. A chair that you couldn’t sit in. What awful irony! [She laughs.]

Cleo: Everything that we create, is real. There’s an energy to back it up. Belief makesideas stronger and molds that creation energy. Perhaps that’s where I came from. Mycreator thought me up and I became a mold of that creation energy. But I’m sure thateven my creator was created by another creative force and was molded by the sameenergy.

I: My brain hurts.

Cleo: What’s the matter? No big bowl of Wheaties for breakfast? It’s the breakfast ofchampions, so they say. But that’s a load of hogwash. Full of sugar, just like othercereals.

I: Can you tell me about the photo shoots?

Cleo: Sure. They were done in my living room while Will was at work. The childrenwere also still in school. I’m not going to model with my family around – at least not inmy own bloody house! Anyway, we just did a couple of them, really nothing to get tooexcited about. This witch is fully clothed in each one of them. Sorry boys! If you wantto undress me; you’ll have to marry me first!

I: Will’s already done that.

Cleo: Exactly my point. So the shoots were done tastefully. Oh, I’ll admit to afrightening bit of sauce in one or two of the shots – but if I can’t at least flaunt it, thenwhat’s the use in going to the gym?

I: I hear that you workout heavily, more than most women.

Cleo: Yes. A strong mind needs a strong body. My arms might be a tad bit large thanmost females, but at least I can carry or pick up something when it needs to be done.Those grocery bags don’t get any lighter, and whatever ignoramus’s idea it was tomake women that are skinny and dainty attractive – well, he needs to be knocked in thehead a few times!

I: I hear you’re a fan of professional female bodybuilding. Tell me about that.

Cleo: Well, that’s back to the strong body that I was talking about. Men are taught to bestrong, with their sharp minds and stout bodies; but women are forced to be silent andsmall, and weak. Female bodybuilders possess the idea that strong women can alsobe beautiful and smart. That women in general can also be strong and smart.

I: Do you think you’ll ever compete?

Cleo: If I put all of my time into it. Maybe one day, but for now all that’s important iskeeping the shop running and taking care of my family. I’m afraid that if I spent toomuch time at the gym and shoving down supplements, I wouldn’t have time for thepeople in my life.

I: I see. Finally, where do you see yourself in twenty years?

Cleo: I’ve read the script, and it doesn’t look good. Hopefully, I’ll still be alive at the endof the series.

I: Well, thank you for your answers.

Cleo: Thank you for having me! :D

(Due to technical difficulties, the photo shoot pics have been removed. Sorry!)

Purchase the Will’s Downfall Saga here.

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *

This site uses Akismet to reduce spam. Learn how your comment data is processed.