The Apparition

The ApparitionThe Apparition (2012)
PG-13, 82 mins
Directed by Todd Lincoln

The movie starts off with a seance, but the people don’t look very focused so how is this shit supposed to work? There’s absolutely no way for those kids to afford all that high price equipment. What kind of jobs do they have and how much do they pay? We then get an intense staring contest at a doll figure. The group’s equipment then goes to shit… Oh, so they must have found it on Ebay. Ben’s girl tells him “I love you” and his response was “me too.” Guy is in love with himself? What restaurant sells corn chips and no sauce? Is there a bowl of chips on the table behind them with no one sitting at the table? After a video game match Kelly finally closes the door and sets the alarm… a little late for that? After Kelly takes a bath and walks in her closet she starts to panic. OMG the ghost tied all her clothes in knots. Get the fuck out now!

So now I’m starting to understand how they can afford all these pricey things, they buy defected equipment and rent infested houses. Kelly finally finds out that Ben is some kind of ghost hunter (they’ve been together how long?) and she tells Ben to get out of her house; of course what she just said doesn’t stick very long. After they leave to stay at a hotel, Ben decides to sleep on the ceiling and Kelly tries out the vacuum bed. Patrick comes and tells them it’s not the house that’s haunted, it’s them. They set up some more pricey equipment around the house and Kelly decides to nail the door to the laundry room shut to keep the thing inside but ends up nailing herself in the room. What a stupid bitch! How the fuck does putting nails into the frame nail the door shut? Movie, go the fuck on with your bullshit. The thing finally makes an appearance… hold up, is this The Grudge?

3.0

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