I was content never to write about the two preening try hards over at MetalSucks, but then they drafted this doozy of an article. They say “But the riffs, man” is not a suitable excuse for continuing to support a band that uses Nazi symbolism in jest, symbolism that’s associated with the systematic extermination of 6 million people because of their heritage.” Well, Is it a suitable excuse to continue supporting a band whose sole member says rank things about jews and “brown people,” to use an annoying leftist parlance, in a way that is not in jest? What am I talking about? Well, ladies and gentlemen, I am referring to the kid gloves with which MetalSucks has handled Varg Vikernes since the very beginning of their site. Yes, yes, they call out Varg’s racism and what not, but it’s always done, as hipster metal bloggers tend to do with Varg, in a very twee way. “Varg’s a racist, isn’t that funny guys? tee hee.” I mean it’s understandable when you consider that the godawful music that Varg produces has served as the sonic blue print for 99 percent of the unlistenable “post black metal” or “blackgaze” trash that sites like MetalSucks love. Of course, one can’t also forget that these guys gave an absolutely glowing review to Burzum’s 2010 release Beluscomplete with an admonition about how it is important to separate the art from the artist. When Varg was giving a limited number of interviews back in 2011, for a group of guys that abhor racism and anti-semitism so much, they sure fell all over themselves to secure an interview with him. A cloying affair conducted by former contributor turned moral scold over at the cesspit that is Vice’s music rag, Kim Kelly. Let’s also not forget that they essentially did free promotion for Varg’s roleplaying game as well. I would not know of the existence of Myfarog if not for MetalSucks’ endless phony pearl clutching over it. And yes, I know these pieces were not written by Ben Umanov or Matthew Goldberg themselves, however, it’s their site. If they find the guy so objectionable, stop covering him. But, it’s like I said before, hipsters love Varg.

It is precisely the kid gloves with which they handle Varg that causes me to roll my eyes when they expect everyone to join them in their ginned up outrage over Destroyer 666, Marduk, Taake, and numerous other bands since at least 2014. I’m sorry, boys, you most certainly are engaging in witch hunts. Being leftists, I would compare you to your side’s favourite pre-Reagan bogeyman, Joe McCarthy, but McCarthy had a better success rate than you guys. I would tell you just to give up and pack it in, but looking at the trend in the Alexa rankings for your site, I think the good old free market will be forcing you to do that before too long. The Destroyer 666 thing was so embarrassing for you two, that you ended up retreating back into your little cave and deleting everything you posted about them. I just have to thank you though, because I had no clue who Destroyer 666 were before that. Outstanding band. Then there is Taake. You fellows seem to be tacitly claiming the cancellation of Taake’s North American tour as some sort of vindication for you accusations, but was it really? No, it wasn’t. Considering that it had nothing to do with your accusations and everything to do with a Twitter tantrum by Talib Kwelli. A man who is himself something of an anti-semite, but whom has a much larger fanbase and thus mouthpiece than Taake. If I’ve got a known piece of shit who is very popular among guilty, white college students threatening to take my venue down if I don’t cancel a show by some marginal black metal act, and on top of that, I’ve got a legion of left wing terrorists in black masks threatening my venue… well, I think I’d cancel the black metal show. Wouldn’t you? Once again though, these did nothing to prove that Taake’s frontman is anything beyond a garden variety edge lord. Especially when you consider that they can only find one “incident” in a twenty-five year career. Then, of course, there is Inquisition. The crown jewel of the MetalSucks nazi hunt. Dropped from their label, dropped from tours, dropped from festivals. Essentially done thanks to… child pornography charges? But you told me they were nazis. Once again, a loss for you, MetalSucks. At least McCarthy got Alger Hiss, right? What victory can you really claim? Who have you proven is a nazi? Thus far, no one.

Also, another inquiry for you boys. Since we’re sort of on the subject of how it’s wrong to joke about symbolism associated with extermination and all that, I would like to call your attention to this little bit from your recent past. You see that symbol you used in the logo? That hammer and sickle? That is associated with an ideology that has a bodycount far beyond Hitler’s. I’ve seen figures ranging anywhere from 50 million to as high as 100 million. When can we expect you to “own up” to this and “reflect on how you’ve grown since then?” Also, and I have to thank another victim of one of your witch hunts for this one, what about your proclivity toward pedophilia? In an interview with Noiscreepone of you said that you write under pseudonyms so that it’s harder for the fathers of underage girls you bag at Avenged Sevenfold concerts to track you down. Now, I mean, I’m a comedy fan. I think anything should be grounds for a joke. I love me a good Irish joke, a good French joke, or a good Catholic joke and I am technically all three of those things. However, you know, in accordance with your own logic, I just don’t know if I can give you the benefit of the doubt, fellas. I mean, you said it yourselves that you shouldn’t joke about serious things like this. You know, “punching down” and all that. Also, you did double down on it in this post, so I don’t know. I think you fellas might have some confessing to do. After all, to paraphrase you, “But the lulz, man” is not an excuse to keep supporting a blog that uses something associated with the physical harm and psychological trauma of children in jest.

My point is this, guys: the world has enough selective outrage in it. I think your outrage is self-serving. I think it is ginned up to generate clicks for a site that is sinking like a stone. I mean, it is a little suspect how relatively recent all of this righteous outrage is. If this is not an attempt to generate ad revenue though, I just have to say this: there are other forms of Heavy Metal, it’s a pretty vast genre. If Black Metal offends your sensibilities so much that you feel the need to accuse every artist you come across of being a nazi and attempt to purge their career from existence, perhaps it’s just time to move on. If someone writes naughty lyrics about Islam in a genre notorious for taking the piss out of Abrahamic religions, and that bothers you, well, perhaps it’s time to move on. I generally tend to not let people and things I don’t like live rent free in my head, especially not when it is something that I can easily avoid (which is why I won’t be addressing your site again). I suggest you try to do the same thing, you’ll have a longer and happier existence for it.


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