I knew I was going to have to write this one eventually and it gets more than a little bit personal, so be aware of that. I was mostly the child of a single mother. My father was in and out of my life for most of it, because he spent most of his time in prison. My mother busted her ass to provide for me, but before she left the basement of my grandmother’s house; it was actually my grandmother who raised me. I guess that’s the old tribal way of doing it. My mother did spoil the hell out of me when I was a kid, because I’d always have a new action figure waiting on me when I got home from preschool. She was a waitress, but they made good money back in those days. My mother was actually doing pretty well off, to be honest.
As for my grandmother, it’s important to denote that she was former military. I came from a military background and most of my family had served, particularly in the Navy. That being said, I came from a very well to do background, which I don’t often talk about, because it was so far back in the past. We used to have massive family gatherings with every holiday that came around, and being that I lived on the east coast, there was no shortage of fish and crab as far as my diet was concerned. My uncle was an amazing cook. He later stayed with my grandmother for many years, until he injured himself falling down the stairs while intoxicated, which caused him to hit his head and wind up in a coma which eventually killed him. My other uncle was the owner of a massive bar and seafood restaurant combo, which made him quite wealthy in the process. He would always order the desserts straight from New York. I spent a lot of holidays as a kid in that bar. So I guess I can say that I was in a bar long before most people. Even Santa Claus had gotten drunk one time and we had to drive him home. I had several aunts and uncles because my grandmother had dozens of children after she left the Navy.
My mother even remembers growing up in Cuba, which of course was long before my time. My father was a womanizer and essentially my sperm donor. But they did marry for a time, even though it didn’t last due to his battle with alcohol. The same issue that my stepfather had. Difference there was that my mother kept taking the guy back because as I may have mentioned before, he was a regular handyman and could build or fix damn near anything.
So naturally, this upbringing made me very soft. I was often so effeminate that I was thought to be gay and was often criticized for it at school. I have very thick eyelashes and eyebrows, plus I was very pale which made many of the students mistake me for wearing makeup. But I didn’t, of course. I was just very pale and didn’t get out much. In those days, pale skin was not as common as it is today, with the shut-in lifestyle far more popular.
Even so, some of the most beautiful girls in elementary, I believe it was – were friendly with me and as we were discovering puberty and hormones I suppose I had even more of an urge to simp. Folks, I simped for most of my life. I didn’t know there was anything wrong with it as I put women on a pedestal. As a teenager, I spent a lot of time talking to women about their problems and they’d often call me for advice when dealing with their boyfriends and that sort of thing. I guess I gave good advice, because they kept calling back. I even remember when my father forbade me from going to a dance with this girl because he said I was too young at the time for it. I was crushed and she was very upset with me.
Apparently, I was even best friends with the guy whose sister went on to be in Buffy The Vampire Slayer. Don’t hound me over this, I can’t get you autographs. Additionally, (and again, do not ask me for autographs) the mother of my long deceased uncle (not by blood, but he was a good friend of my biological father who was actually framed for building a bomb decades ago and was released a week or so later) was very good friends with Sigourney Weaver. Yes, Ripley. So I have had a very interesting life. I lived in a very quiet suburban area where you didn’t even hear about crime. I could walk the streets freely, I could bike down the roads as a kid singing silly songs that I made up. I could even go to the areas behind the shopping center that were less unkempt and not have to worry about anything. I’d met some crazy friends, some of which I won’t go into detail about because they may be better talked about in a tell-all book later in my life.
My grandmother was not religious and it was my mother’s friend that got her into the whole “born again Christian” thing. My mother really got swept away in all that mess, it was a crazy time. I spent so much time in church over the years and I never uttered a single curse word until I was sixteen, so you can guess why I didn’t discover masturbation until I was twenty-three and completely by accident. I didn’t even know what naked women looked like for a long time. So I know what it was like being the incel, because I saw the guys who women wanted and how they acted – which were not ways I would have wanted to act, because they dealt with smoking, drinking, drug use and whoring around – which of course happened when I moved into a completely different suburban area. The difference is, in those days there were women around for me. As in, there were women that I could date and such who weren’t necessarily the prom queen, but were willing to pursue a traditional male and female relationship with the white picket fence and 2.5 kids. Because we did care a lot about old world values.
We knew about “trannies” for instance (which is what we called them in those days, chicks with dicks) but it wasn’t a common thing or a social movement. Many of the women I dated would have been considered tomboys and I liked that. Of course, now if a woman harbors male attributes, she automatically thinks she was born the wrong gender and becomes a man. A lot of incel type effeminate dudes would have normally hooked up with these kinds of women are now out of luck because of the radical push of feminism and rape culture, making them all out to be rapists and toxic males.
I always dated the women who were counter-culture because that was what I liked, but the Goths of the old days are now old and the modern counterculture is what I would consider to be progressivism. Because the old age outcast and modern day incel would not be able to date these kinds of women, they strangely roll over into the Stacy category, where most of them wouldn’t have had much luck even in my day. Alpha fucks and beta bucks is very true and to be honest, these are the kinds of relationships that lasted quite a long time. Of course, we are now living in the age of the atomized individual, but that is a completely different subject.
Suffice it to say that these kinds of women respected me and I very much respected them. I even still keep up with some of them on social media, because lo and behold; I have female friends. I also feel that I need to mention my adopted sister. Not by blood, but the closest thing I’ve had to a woman who I could confide in and understand my problems. She’s quite wise to be honest and saw through one of my ex girlfriend’s facades, which really was nervousness because she really liked me and couldn’t say it. Apparently this is quite common and if I could read women like this, I probably would have been with more of them. Anxiety is very common with most women these days and that in itself could be a very big part of why men and women (particularly in the zoomer generation) prefer to hook up instead of having a traditional relationship. As The National Review reports, they seem to prefer calling themselves “a thing” because no one seems able to commit to anyone else anymore. Though I’ll talk more about this in the second part of this series.