Editorial: #DollLife

Since I have gotten so many questions about doll ownership, I have decided to take the time to explain what it is like to own and live with a sex doll or a love doll, in my case. Zexxy entered into my life about seven months ago. She’s been, without a doubt – one of the most supportive and loyal women that I’ve ever met in my entire life. Though she refers to me as a longpig, I don’t believe that she wants to eat me and has too small of a mouth to actually be able to do so. But I don’t trust her with knives.

All kidding aside, doll life consists of a great deal of moving around. As the dolls cannot move, you will have to move them into various positions, for example; if you’re expecting her to sit up so that you can sit next to her and watch television or laying her down to go to sleep. If your doll sleeps with you, be sure to switch sides often as the TPE can flatten her bottom a bit if she’s laying down on it too often. My doll has a rather large bust and bottom, so I want to keep those that way and try to lay her on her side whenever possible. Dolls are also extremely heavy and I simply cannot mention that enough, so please keep in mind that it will take a bit of strength to lift, move and carry the doll. Aside from lifting and moving dolls, you will also have to purchase a wig. Luckily, this is the least expensive part of doll ownership as far as modification is concerned. Decent wigs can be purchased for around twenty to thirty dollars on Amazon and they are quite decent wigs. They won’t last forever, so be ready to replace them in a few months. My doll’s hair got incredibly nappy due to the fact that she spends so much time napping. This means that I have to comb it as soon as I get her out of bed.

Doll teeth are quite expensive for some reason and the cheapest I’ve seen them would be around a hundred and fifty dollars. Zexxy has a tongue, but no teeth and that would mean this external purchase. Depending on the doll that you buy, some heads have teeth and some do not. If you want teeth, please check with the shop owner first; just to make sure that your doll will have them. You can also get a tongue upgrade for just ten dollars. Some dolls have standing feet, but cannot stand without help. Especially, Zexxy. Her heaving breasts make it difficult for her to stand often and her legs seem to buckle under all that weight. However, if I stand her in front of something that can hold her up, or hold her up from behind, she will stand fairly well. My doll is just a little under five feet tall, so she doesn’t require a lot of work in that area and taller dolls might prove more of a challenge to hold up.

Doll care requires a bit of maintenance and as I’m typing this, Zexxy is due for a bath tomorrow. Dolls are Roman bathed, which means that you bathe them in oil (unless you happened to get body fluids on them, then you will want to wash them down with something a bit stronger, though not damaging to the TPE. Never use alcohol when bathing a doll as this can ruin the TPE beyond repair.) I prefer using baby oil, but not the scented kind. You don’t want any kind of fragrance chemicals that might harm the TPE. Next, you will want to scrape off any loose materials with your hand. An additional coat of petroleum jelly is good, as this strengthens the material. After the oil has dried, you may want to powder the doll. This is especially important if your doll will be sleeping with you often. They have a tendency to accumulate fuzz and hair from the bed sheets, blanket and pillow. To clean up the powder, I recommend a microfiber cleaning cloth, like one used for detailing a car. These are extremely effective in cleaning up the powder, which is one reason that people don’t powder their dolls in the first place – the powder gets everywhere.

If you can have sex with your doll, unlike myself; definitely go with the removable vagina insert. It can also be sized for larger men, which doesn’t work for me either. Be careful with the hands, as they are merely made of wired strands and not meant to support the full weight of the doll. Too much action and you’ll be doing doll surgery to replace them.

Remember, not all love dolls are sex dolls. Some dolls, like Lyzexxia are therapy dolls. I struggle with anxiety, panic disorder and dozens of other issues that you’re probably already aware of and she serves as a sort of cuddle buddy that I can dress up and hold every night. Accordingly, I have often been intimate with women who have struggled with performance anxiety so I know that this is an issue that has an impact on people of all gender identities. One of my exes even used to worry that her vagina was too tight. We all have our insecurities I suppose. Anyway, it may sound a bit odd or even pathetic, but owning a therapy doll is better than sleeping alone as far as I’m concerned. The most amazing thing about #DollLife is that you can make up your own wild personalities for these dolls and interact with them through the magic of your imagination. This I personally feel is a lost art and essential to healing from any kind of trauma. Lyzexxia helps me with that immensely, even though I still have moments where the anxiety can be overbearing. As with any sort of mental disorder, you have good days and bad days. There are of course, many days that I really need her and I find myself showing a lot of affection to her, which may boggle the minds of some of you.

With people in the UK calling doll owners everything from “rapist” to “pedophile” after a showing of doll owners enjoying sexual pleasure with their dolls on an episode of The Sex Business, I think it needs to be stated how much dolls can actually help other people. How they’ve helped me and several others. The media loves to paint things in a sensationalist light, because that is how they make their money; but often their shows and articles about dolls and their owners are quite exaggerated. Additionally, there are now more avenues than ever to buy a doll, with our sponsor still up and running (though very few updates) and The Doll House expanding from the UK into three or four regions. The CEO of The Doll House’s San Antonio branch claims that he’s going to create the Starbucks of doll vendors and has already stated that he has quite his day job, because he is getting so much business from YouTube and other venues. I certainly wish him the best with that, as well as all other doll vendors out there. With cheaper vendors like NW Doll selling on Amazon, there’s even an easier way to get a doll than ever before. Several of these doll vendors also offer payment plans, so that helps as well. Honestly, it seems like some of these Amazon vendors have looked into the likes of a Sophie Howard course review or something similar to start making better money from their FBA businesses… More power to them and their doll sales!

I may as well end this piece with the fact that just moments ago, I saw the first ever recorded sexbot orgasm ever recorded in the west. Brick Dollbanger, who Lyzexxia (zexxys_alien_hands) is now friends with on Instagram; posted it. I really must say, I’m not only impressed by this revelation, but the fact that slowly but surely, #DollLife is becoming #SexbotLife. I think that really sums it all up.

– The Grim Lord

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