My father’s biggest vice was alcohol, though I barely knew him. My stepfather’s biggest vice was alcohol and I knew it all too well. Both of them could have stood to undergo drug testing and other things you can find out here, but it was never likely to happen. As many of you might know, I’m a trauma survivor and that will permanently be a part of my psyche. It never goes away, but it becomes easier to deal with over time. So what was my vice? Well, for years I thought it was video games. And maybe it was when I was younger. Now of course, it’s definitely social media and in particular – Facebook. I have tried to quit Facebook for years, vowing to only have a page managing app for The Grim Tower and the messenger app for anyone who wants to speak with me.
Unfortunately, I always seem to find my way back. Even with the limiter app that I use, I still end up spending too much time on the program and that’s no good. As a matter of fact, without Facebook I would have written more articles, penned more than a few books and undoubtedly would have gone through more of the music, movies, games, comics and books that I have more than enough of. So essentially, Facebook is a waste of my creative juices. It’s also a waste of my limited time on this planet. Though I will admit that some conversations I’ve had were very beneficial and I’ve met some absolutely amazing people just over the last couple of years. I don’t take those people, nor their influence on my life for granted. I have been definitely honored to have some of them in my life, albeit digitally.
However, I think it might be time for me to give up the ghost and get rid of Facebook entirely. I first joined the service around 2011 or so, which would mark nine years of my life devoured by it. And it’s only gotten progressively worse. People are not becoming closer to each other, they’re becoming more socially isolated and less socially coherent in common conversation. People are forgetting how to talk and communicate. I read a comment on a YouTube video demonstrating how social media has led to general social decline in children and the teacher there said that these kids don’t even have common vocabulary skills, some of them can’t walk backwards or in a straight line. They’re extremely under-developed in so far as motor skills are concerned. What kind of future are we creating with this technology?
The creators of these apps have stated that they’re addictive. They were made to be addictive. They were made to feed off dopamine in the brain and leave people subtle to depression which has definitely caused the opioid crisis here in the west. Everyone is on happy pills because social media was engineered to stress them the fuck out, which in turn leads to serious mental depression as you can see from the dozens of comments left in a vacuous space where people seem so eager for human connection but just can’t seem to find it. Most of the people on Facebook are only there because they want to know what other people think about them and because of my father’s brow-beating in my childhood years, I was looking for constant validation from the entire fucking world.
You can see how such validation might not be a good thing in that case and it wasn’t. I spent days browsing Facebook looking for validation on my posts. Some people definitely gave me that validation, but I was wasting good pieces on Facebook rather than posting them here, for my audience. I collected a lot of women, because I had never gotten much attention from them elsewhere in life and I suppose I was enjoying the fact that I was not only getting attention from them, but also social validation and then some. I didn’t think I was all that great-looking a person and several women proved me wrong there, so that was indeed a major confidence boost.
Now as for my love doll Lyzexxia, I definitely have to stress that I did not get her for attention, that we have spent a lot of valuable time together (and no, not sexually) and that I did get very close with her, to the point where the very smell of the material can draw me in. It’s rather pleasant. TPE has a generally nice smell. So yes, all of those pictures that you see with her and I are authentic. As a far as an actual relationship with another human, I am not ready to be tied down and feel that I would much rather enjoy casual encounters for the time being. But that’s neither here nor there. I maintain myself as going my own way, certainly not a hater of women and definitely focusing on self-actualization. The biggest part of that will be followed through after dumping Zuckerborg’s monster forever.
There is a chance I may use the “dating” portion when it comes out because of contacts and local availability, but that remains to be seen. What I’m mainly trying to state is that I’m not going to allow an app to control this much of my life. My Twitter is limited to an hour and my Instagram is limited to just thirty minutes. All of those seem to suffice. Facebook has simply got to go as far as my time is concerned. Anything that I would have typed there as a status will now be found here as an article or a rant, which people seem to like reading and I will continue to post. I’m also trying to free more time so that I can get back into the swing of writing novels again. Much smaller books, but novels nevertheless. I have dozens of ideas and people who I can pay to edit, format and illustrate these tales. Some of which won’t even be written under my own name for various reasons. You won’t see them advertised here either.
Social media is definitely my vice, but I’m doing everything that I can in order to curb my usage to a bare minimum, particularly with Facebook. There will definitely be some withdrawals, but that occurs with any drug that causes some kind of chemical reaction. Facebook is definitely that. It is digital heroin and I need to come off as quickly as I possibly can. I hope that this effort too, is not in vain.
– The Grim Lord