Editorial: Give Me Some Time, I Work At Corona Chan Ground Zero!

Right now, I’m sure that many of you are in quarantine. Some of you have been laid off or recently unemployed. Though due to the nature of my job as a Walmart retail associate (because this kind of independent journalism doesn’t pay the bills) I am still required to report to work as scheduled. What this means, is that even though some of you may have a lot more free time, I unfortunately do not. This also means that I’m even more stressed out than normal as I get to see the craziness that some of you are only glimpsing at on social media. There are only a hundred cases in our state right now, so it’s not that bad, really – but should it become a worse issue, I would need to take proper procedures through the store third-party service. You would assume that we’d have mandatory testing for the virus, but I can tell you that this is not happening. A lot of us go throughout our day with some protective gear or none at all. One of my managers even told me that the mask I was wearing doesn’t help, so I took it off. But hey, I tried.

Naturally, I have a strong immune system. I haven’t had to get a flu shot in fifteen years. I’ve only gotten sick about once a year and most infections cleared up fairly quickly just by drinking Powerade. I’m not kidding. Aside from that, I am an introvert and extremely jealous of all of you. You might be bored, but to me, staying at home and catching up on things is a dream come true. Aside from all the writing I have to do, I have a lot of anime, movies, games, comics and other things that I would like to catch up on. I’d honestly have a fucking blast in quarantine. I also stocked up on a lot of food and drink, so I’ll hold up pretty well here in the dungeon with Zexxy and of course my sixty-five year old mother (who I don’t want to infect, because she would not survive). For reference, I am the breadwinner here and support her. This isn’t a guy in his basement living off his mother situation – I keep the lights on and the rent paid over here, among other things.

This being said, I see that there are a lot of promos in my inbox lately as many of you have a lot of free time, more than some of you’ve ever had before. Well, I don’t. Sure, our store closes early but I still have to work full-time. This means that I stock products without any customers in the store for about an hour and a half. It does make a difference too, I’d like to think that we’re keeping society from turning into a Mad Max situation of social upheaval, rioting, looting and other nastiness that humans are capable of. I’ve discussed this kind of stuff with other associates, including the possibility of a purge type situation. One of the guys I work with is a former infantry grunt and shared a few bits of knowledge. I guess it’s just a man’s nature to be prepared to fight and kill other men in the interest of survival. However, we’re not there yet, thankfully.

Cases are going up here in the US and I fully understand that I could potentially become a carrier at some point. It’s a chance I’m willing to take, because I have looked at the store shelves and can tell you how bad it is. There are still a lot of things they aren’t buying, laughable things that they aren’t buying – shit that is necessary for survival that they aren’t buying, which leads me to believe that a lot of stupid humans would end up starving themselves of valuable nutrition in favor of extremely unhealthy items. Even though I knowingly did buy a lot of snacks as well – just not completely. I did follow the advice of some former military guys and picked up things that might actually prove useful and are furthermore, non-perishable.

My sinuses are giving me a run for my money right now, which is usual of springtime. I have a slight cough and chest congestion, not to mention sinus pains which are indicative of shitty weather and the field I live next to. This happens every year. I practice my breathing and there has been no issue there, I have not had any kind of fever and don’t exhibit any of the symptoms of the virus. It’s just mucus that gets in my chest as usual. I’d count myself lucky in that instance. It even went away for a bit and then came back as the weather changed. I’ve kept it at bay with an off-brand Mucinex. We have had horrible weather this time of year, which is really why cold and flu season is so bad. It’s rainy, cruddy and generally not a wonderful time to be outside anyway.

Walmart of course, has stepped in and offered us an extra three-hundred bucks next month just for showing up. It’s a hundred and fifty for part-time workers, but I’m full-time. It’s a nice gesture and I’ll take it – but I’ve heard that if things get too bad, we will still be required to work. Of course, that’s when we get into Mad Max mode unless the military comes in to make sure that no one can leave their house for any reason at all, or better known as “Martial Law.” This is already happening in the UK, New York and California, so it would take a while to get here.

Regardless of all this, know that my normal covering of releases and such will be halted until all this mayhem goes away. I do have a lot of articles that I want to write regarding this, in particular two articles outlining the need for virtual concerts and the abolishing of movie theaters. Yes, I want to kill movie theaters dead, they are archaic. Also, I really hope that almost all concerts have a virtual option. I’ll pay to watch them, but being an introvert I would rather watch the band on my mobile device and not have to put with all the crowds and anxiety that comes with it. Don’t worry, I can see you and hear you just fine and I’m tired of having to watch unprofessional recordings of concerts on YouTube. But more on that later.

One more thing. I also received a request to write a piece regarding FDS or Female Dating Strategies on Reddit. For those of you who don’t know, this is what I would consider to be a disastrous evolution of the femcel which is as dangerous as the angriest of incels. My God, women are following suite and it has made me lose hope in humanity.


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