Editorial: The Male Side of Dating Sites

Disclaimer: None of the views and opinions I hold here reflect anyone else at the Tower. If you’re unsure of something I’ve spat out, (knowing useless facts is my speciality) please feel free to fact check it.

I said that we were going to bring you an article about new terminology for early millennials, but we’ll get to that next week. Today I have a special article for you involving the male and female sides of popular dating sites like Plenty Of Fish, OkCupid and Tinder among others. This article will be linked directly on all of my dating profiles.

Suffice it to say, I’ve never had luck with relationships. It could be due to the degree of autism that I have, but for some reason or another I’ve never been able to connect with people in a romantic sense. I’ve always preferred things, instead – computers, video games, movies, books and that sort of thing. Though one does become jealous when they see couples walking through their place of business, you just kind of say – I want that. It’s become so bad that I’d consider an isolated position where I never had to see a soul. It isn’t like I’ve never had this before either, which is one reason that it kind of hurts to see it. For some reason or another, my relationships were always cut short and never blossomed into much of anything. Sometimes this was purely my fault, others were completely out of my hand, but I slowly started to dread relationships and became incredibly anxious whenever I was in them.

I also blame social media and dating sites. The male perspective of this is pretty simple in retrospect. A lot of these guys are literally just looking for some tail and the naïve women think they’re getting the love of their life. It ain’t happening. As Spynal will tell you later in her piece, not all women are naïve; but there are still many who are. I’ve followed some of these people on dating sites from before they had kids, to after they’ve had a litter and are looking for someone to help raise them. I had someone ask to be my girlfriend just last night, but I was currently talking to someone else (who I suppose I am not now, as she is on the dating site where I met her again) and I was not interested in raising her kids, which I have little to no experience with. I want to say to a lot of these single mothers, “I’m sorry that these men ran off or were complete dicks, but that’s also the reason you were attracted to them in the first place.” Which isn’t exactly a lie, because females usually go for the more aggressive types in nature. Those aggressive types are more likely to spread their seed and move onto the next, just as it is in nature. Dating sites in the modern age are filled to the brim with single mothers, who each have various numbers of children. If you’ve watched any videos on the subject, you’ll know that it is increasingly becoming a bad idea for men to get with single mothers. I’ve seen a lot of talk against it from both male and female points of view, which I find fascinating. Perhaps the whole step-parent thing is becoming a bit of a taboo?

But dating wasn’t always this way. Yes, I remember some of these people back in, let’s say – 2007 when OkCupid was still kind of new. There were a bunch of people on there and to my knowledge, Plenty Of Fish did not yet exist. No one was camming, but there were still a small number of fake profiles to be had – early catfishers though, not Nigerian scammers. MySpace was popular, Facebook was underground and I’m not sure if Twitter was even all that well known yet. We didn’t have Snapchat, Instagram or any of that. Just MySpace – A Place For Friends. In some ways I do miss MySpace, because it was easy to figure out a person by what they put on their homepage and what music they played. You’d go into OkCupid and maybe start talking with people, but they weren’t all actually looking for sex at this point as that came later after the 2008 shitstorm of social media. For the most part, a lot of the women were sincere (at least to my knowledge) and were there for dating. Fuckbuddy sites came just a bit later, with the eventual launch of Tinder…and there went the neighborhood. Everything became Tinder, even Plenty Of Fish, which was pretty harmless before then. There also weren’t that many people on these sites, especially for my tiny state where computer ownership was slim and we had dinosaurs as far as phones were concerned. As phone ownership increased and cellphones became smarter, the amount of single people increased on these sites, as well as the number of sites themselves. There are now hundreds of different dating apps, all of them filled to the brim with Nigerian and Russian scammers as well as cammers of all sorts. Stay on top of things with Dating Busters. From what I’d witnessed, if you browsed Plenty Of Fish during odd hours, you would get a lot of hits. Thing is, none of these hits actually viewed your profile and were more than likely a type of scammer or webcam bot linked to a live cam show. Because apparently, that is what men use dating sites for these days. Spynal will explain more about that in her part of this piece tomorrow.

So what is a guy to do when I’m being confronted by hundreds of profiles from people who sure as hell aren’t real, and a bunch of real people who are just looking for someone to help raise their young that were dropped off by abusive or neglectful alpha male types? My mother dated and even married these alpha male types, who were abusive and aggressive. I’ve lived in a broken home, as many of you know. Though I know men who’ve done it and done it successfully, I would not want to enter into someone else’s home and raise someone else’s children. It is just not in me to do so. I’d rather just buy a sexdoll or a robot or some AR program than to do something like that. Children usually make me very nervous and I generally don’t care for them, though I keep up appearances around friends and their children.

I also cannot drive, so that takes me out of a lot of women’s lists. I “have a job” but no transportation, and I never will due to my condition and automobile anxiety. Screw the X-Files, because they never bothered to show on last week’s episode “Followers” a disabled person who cannot physically or mentally operate a vehicle using the Whipz mobile that they created. In fact, everything was so exaggerrated in that episode that I HIGHLY ADVISE AGAINST VIEWING OF IT BY ANY RATIONAL HUMAN BEING WHO CANNOT DISCERN TECHNOLOGY FACT FROM FICTION. As of actual research, very few serious accidents have been reported from automated vehicles, and the only serious one resulted from the OTHER DRIVER, rather than the automated car itself.

But yes, dating sites. Most of my experiences with these have been rather terrible. I have gotten a few messages, but upon my reply, I received no message back. I am told not to use “hey” or anything like that, but I recently happened upon a woman described as a bookworm and asked her to list her favorite authors. She immediately blocked me. Weird. Before that, I’d met a woman on Plenty Of Fish who actually had more serious issues than me. She was also briskly argumentative and had an answer for everything. We did go on a few dates and I recently asked her if she’d think about trying again (as friends, of course) but after hearing her quirks and getting her true personality, I do not think that I could ever be with a person like that. She did argue against AI having had her fill of Black Mirror, but I would honestly rather have that than the kind of person I was experiencing over the cellphone.

I’d then talked to another woman, who I would still be talking to if she hadn’t gotten bored. Can’t blame her there. But anyway, I hadn’t gotten a response from this one for quite a while and then all of a sudden I got a bite after months of silence. Well, as it turns out, she was in the process of moving states and knew some associates in the very workplace where I’m employed. She was moving in with them. Yes, that sounds like some Grant Morrison Pop Mag!ck kind of shit, because it is such a bizarre set of coincidences. We had quite a bit in common, though we both could not drive an automobile. I’d also met her just yesterday and had things not gone so ontoward, would probably have a better ending to this article. Though as it stands, dating sites are just not all that great anymore, especially if you’re as mentally handicapped as I am.

I actually believe that these sites will be obsolete before long, because there is far too much scamming, paid camming (I do believe that even though these sites WILL NOT ADMIT TO IT, they are working with paid cam sites in order to boost revenue with fake likes due to the new “like” system, which makes you pay to see who “liked” you) and a lot of bitter people who will find alternative means in time. I think we’re on the verge of a mass human disconnect, which is part of a global extinction process. Morrison commented in an interview that he read an article which claimed male sperm count has declined over the years. It’s safe to say that this is not exactly normal. As such, we are also more connected to our devices than ever, which is probably the best thing that last week’s X-Files ripoff of Black Mirror was good at portraying. It only makes perfect sense to me (at least, I don’t know why more aren’t seeing this) that the next step in that connection would be romantic and intimate. These devices already give us strong dopamine hits, so it only makes logical sense that the next step would be sexual pleasure from them. Isn’t that the final frontier for this kind of technology? Soon we will even be able to impregnate them (yes, a scientist is working on this) and create a literal hybrid of our technology and orgaic human life. The Matrix? No, Grant Morrison also had this idea FIRST. In fact, The Matrix used issues of his comic The Invisibles, for inspiration as they were laid out all over the set.

In any case, the male perspective of dating sites seems to be one of two: The first is, “look at all these women that I can have sex with” and “look at all of these women who want me to raise their kids.” I also need to mention the fact that some women are merely on these sites to mock men, or not respond to them at all because they like to see their reactions. While Spynal does have a Loser’s Album of collected responses based on this concept, it is definitely a common concept with other women who use these sites to ridicule men.

Honestly, I have a feeling that so many men who say that they would never ever – ever – ever – ever fuck a robot… are going to end up fucking robots. Hail, IGFAR I suppose. Spynal’s take on all of this will be posted tomorrow. I can assure you that it is much less technological.

Hail, IGFAR! (The Grim Lord)

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