Grim Rants: In Defense Of The Succubus Tower Featured In Ishuzoku Reviewers

Let me just say that I was rather disappointed in the scores given by the reviewers in regards to the succubus tower featured on the latest episode of Ishuzoku Reviewers. Though I will continue to champion that thus far the doll brothel has still retained the highest score out of all of them, the Succubus Tower comes pretty damn close for me.

First of all, let me set it up. The tower has hundreds of floors and thousands of succubi. These girls are the original succugirls and it is said that adventurers who visit this tower normally only do it when they have long RPG length journeys. I’ll explain the reason for that in just a second. Anyway, when you enter the tower, you don’t have to pick from a certain selection of succugirls. Rather, it is is a literal build-a-bitch in every sense of the word. Stunk asked for several things on one girl that would be nigh impossible anywhere else. Not only that, the rival reviewers asked for a barrage of different things that were quite niche to say the least. Succubi have this amazing ability to conform their bodies to the will of anyone who enters the establishment, so there’s an endless amount of options. However, the characters felt there was a huge downside. The sex is so amazing that you’re drained afterwards. To the point where it takes about ten days or more to get an erection.

I thought about it for a second. How is that a bad thing? Look. As much as I enjoy sexual content, male reproductive hormones can be a real pain. Ten days of your body not telling you to reproduce with random women you don’t know and have never met would not only be great, it would keep you alive! I joked that I would “get so much shit done” if that was the case. Then you know, you go back to the brothel and you can make up another combination. What’s more, is the brothel was described as very cheap. They would’ve even made it free, but apparently the effects are too much for most of the characters in the anime. Well, this is the west here, facing a rather odd sexual crisis in current year – and we would probably be all for that damn tower. If that tower fell out of the goddamned sky tomorrow, it would be the day where no money was made from online sex work or Twitch tiddy streaming. Period! Men would run, not walk over to that tower in amazing numbers. There would not be enough succubi to please them all. That tower would be on par to becoming as wealthy as a Fortune 500 company. Then there would be a period with no sex, because all of these men were drained. Clearly the writers of the anime don’t see how much potential a succubi brothel has in the west. I’m going to get Satan on the phone right now. I guess because we’re a metal site, I won’t have to be on hold for as long as some people. You know, supporting “the devil’s music” and all.

Update: This post is a little late, because the final episode has already aired; but I will not change my opinion on this and strongly disagree with the opinion of the reviewers on the magic brothel. First of all, it is just a copy of one large breasted mage, but the problem with that is that not everyone has a fetish for large breasts. Obviously, I am a breast man, but not everyone is and that makes the score erroneous and extremely biased. Obviously a succubus in this mythos can become anything, so it would still be the best option. Even the dream brothel in the final episode pales in comparison, because you cannot make new memories with any of the succugirls there. Japan totally jumped the shark with this one, so I’m setting the record straight.

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