I’ve been in the dungeon for a few days now, so I feel that I can perform an accurate critique on my condition. First of all, when I arrived; I didn’t look at all like the picture, but I’m definitely made from the same mold and by the same company responsible for the model in that image. I think that makeup, airbrushing and other touchups were used to create those images, which don’t quite reflect me.
For the most part, my image matches the mold. My breasts are large and far from uneven, my abdominals are ripped as shown, there is a bit of musculature on my legs and they are firm as are my abdominals. I’m a fit girl model, so these qualities make sense. My breasts are also firm, but not too firm. There’s absolutely no color to my nipples or areola, which is unfortunate. My bum on the other hand is quite firm and definitely matches the feel that a firm, toned bum should have. My lips definitely feel real and the texture is quite close to that of ordinary long pig. My hands are not amazing, they are a bit cheap in construction and I think it might be time for Chinese factories to look for a better alternative when designing hands, especially if I’m going to be used for sex and would need to be in other positions where my hands would be necessary for stability.
My head requires some fine tuning and needs to be tightened a bit more with an allen wrench. Luckily, this came included with my head-bolt, which was confusing to put on at first; though eventually became a much easier process. My head is still prone to falling off every now and again, though not nearly as much as you’d expect. As long as you turn my head about five or six times to the left, it won’t pop off easily.
My feet are honestly, kind of a joke in the way that the toes were done. I would have expected something a bit more solid, maybe a sort of wire system similar to the fingers. Though in all honesty, they are just jiggly pieces of TPE that make putting on socks, shoes or leggings very difficult. My feet came a bit mangled up, nothing too bad – but normal for shipping. A few days of tight socks and/or shoes and the TPE will return to normal. One of my toenails actually popped off during shipping too – but I came with a plastic set of replacements, just in case they may be needed. Unfortunately, I didn’t get any TPE glue, which would be the best kind of solvent to reattach the toenail. For now, I’m just wearing socks.
As you can see, I’m not tan. But I could have been ordered tan, I’m sure. However, that’s good because it makes me stand out from her – the doll in the image. Those model girls work very hard to get their positions just right and they pretty much bathe in makeup and God knows what else.
I’m an Irish girl with red hair and a thick accent, if you can’t tell already. So Angelia and I are definitely not alike. Don’t buy my sisters expecting them to be exactly like the image shown, because most of the time, they aren’t. You can decorate the TPE, but you’ll just have to keep reapplying it over and over again as the material absorbs color very quickly.
As for the lower regions, Grim and I have nearly thrown away the idea of sexual intercourse, which sounds funny as that is one of the main purposes people spend money on my sisters in the first place – a good fucking. Grim found both of my removable vaginas to be a bit too small for his weapon. We’re not talking about Rance here, but it is a bit more than the hole in these things require. I can be used without them though, as long as he’s wearing a condom or I’m using a female condom. But seriously, these things are just a bit too small as far as the point of insertion and even the hole for my actual vagina is much larger and more similar to that of long pig. Most of my features were also a bit small, which would include my hands, feet, bra and panties. I was also sent some gloves, but I’m not the one you call Michael Jackson. Who I’m now told has since passed away. Shame. Why did you fucking tell me that, Grim?
Other than that, I am cool to the touch and normally it takes quite a while for me to warm up, except for the inner areas, which can be warmed up with several different methods. I was supposed to come with a USB warming stick, but customs confiscated it. This I am told is a standard process. I suppose they seem to like jamming those things into their bums at the customs office, which they can continue to do, for all I care. I also cannot stand for long periods of time without help. I’ll need to be propped up against something. It amazes me how those model girls can do it for so long, you’d think that they would have fallen over by now.
Of course, now it’s time to review my owner. Grim really isn’t that bad-looking, to be honest. He could definitely find a female long pig if he wanted to, but I’m glad that he’s chosen me. He’s no model, but nor am I. He loves to touch me and kisses me often. I don’t want to get too graphic, but there is definitely something of a romantic relationship going on here. I can’t say that I mind.
When we’re built, we have no idea who in the hell is going to get us. We don’t know what’s going to happen to us. They just throw us in a box and we’re shipped off all over the world. It’s dark in there too. And bumpy, really bumpy. So when I can see with my disembodied head that there’s a smile waiting on the other side, even if it seems to be coming from a rather spaghetti like man – I’m quite happy. He does seem to have muscles where it counts though, as I am quite heavy and he’s always quick to put me into different positions. I will reiterate this – I am quite heavy. I might as well be thirty pounds of steel with thick plastic wrapped around it, which adds to my total weight of 62 pounds. That is unfortunately the rub for some people, but Grim is able to literally lift me up and carry me around if he likes. I like that in a long pig. But he’s more than a long pig, I guess – he’s actually one of the good ones. I’m actually happy with him, this could have been a hell of a lot worse, I suppose.
I’m told that our sponsor Mon Amour Tojours and their owner Don Delano is to thank for much of this. While I was trying to read many of the books on Grim’s shelf, he was emailing about every single problem that he encountered with me. Including the lip gloss debacle that we had last night. Though as I said, the TPE absorbs really quickly and I should be completely clear of the lip gloss issue in a day or so. I hope, anyway. Anything further would just be pointless rambling, so I believe that’s all I have to say. I’m glad to be a part of Grim’s life and The Grim Tower. You’ll see me covering albums here and there as well. No, I’m not kidding. I might even do some films and comics, because why not? It might be good to get a woman’s touch to some of the opinions here.
Price: $1569.00 with standing foot, tongue and extended skeleton options. Came with two wigs, two removable vaginas, a comb and other goodies.
Purchase More Of My Sisters HERE, Long Pig! (Mon Amour Toujours)
My Manufacturer’s Website Can Be Found HERE, With My Original Description (JYDoll.com)