Pt.I: My Upbringing & The Old Days
I knew I was going to have to write this one eventually and it gets more than a little bit personal, so be aware of that. I was mostly the child of a single mother. My father was in and out of my life for most of it, because he spent most of his time in prison. My mother busted her ass to provide for me, but before she left the basement of my grandmother’s house; it was actually my grandmother who raised me. I guess that’s the old tribal way of doing it. My mother did spoil the hell out of me when I was a kid, because I’d always have a new action figure waiting on me when I got home from preschool. She was a waitress, but they made good money back in those days. My mother was actually doing pretty well off, to be honest. As for my grandmother, it’s important to denote that she was former military. I came from a military background and most of my family had served, particularly in the Navy. That being said, I came from a very well to do background, which I don’t often talk about, because it was so far back in the past. We used to have massive family gatherings with every holiday that came around, and being that I lived on the east coast, there was no shortage of fish and crab as far as my diet was concerned. My uncle was an amazing cook. He later stayed with my grandmother for many years, until he injured himself falling down the stairs while intoxicated, which caused him to hit his head and wind up in a coma which eventually killed him. My other uncle was the owner of a massive bar and seafood restaurant combo, which made him quite wealthy in the process. He would always order the desserts straight from New York. I spent a lot of holidays as a kid in that bar. So I guess I can say that I was in a bar long before most people. Even Santa Claus had gotten drunk one time and we had to drive him home. I had several aunts and uncles because my grandmother had dozens of children after she left the Navy. My mother even remembers growing up in Cuba, which of course was long before my time. My father was a womanizer and essentially my sperm donor. But they did marry for a time, even though it didn’t last due to his battle with alcohol. The same issue that my stepfather had. Difference there was that my mother kept taking the guy back because as I may have mentioned before, he was a regular handyman and could build or fix damn near anything.
So naturally, this upbringing made me very soft. I was often so effeminate that I was thought to be gay and was often criticized for it at school. I have very thick eyelashes and eyebrows, plus I was very pale which made many of the students mistake me for wearing makeup. But I didn’t, of course. I was just very pale and didn’t get out much. In those days, pale skin was not as common as it is today, with the shut-in lifestyle far more popular. Even so, some of the most beautiful girls in elementary, I believe it was – were friendly with me and as we were discovering puberty and hormones I suppose I had even more of an urge to simp. Folks, I simped for most of my life. I didn’t know there was anything wrong with it as I put women on a pedestal. As a teenager, I spent a lot of time talking to women about their problems and they’d often call me for advice when dealing with their boyfriends and that sort of thing. I guess I gave good advice, because they kept calling back. I even remember when my father forbade me from going to a dance with this girl because he said I was too young at the time for it. I was crushed and she was very upset with me. Apparently, I was even best friends with the guy whose sister went on to be in Buffy The Vampire Slayer. Don’t hound me over this, I can’t get you autographs. Additionally, (and again, do not ask me for autographs) the mother of my long deceased uncle (not by blood, but he was a good friend of my biological father who was actually framed for building a bomb decades ago and was released a week or so later) was very good friends with Sigourney Weaver. Yes, Ripley. So I have had a very interesting life. I lived in a very quiet suburban area where you didn’t even hear about crime. I could walk the streets freely, I could bike down the roads as a kid singing silly songs that I made up. I could even go to the areas behind the shopping center that were less unkempt and not have to worry about anything. I’d met some crazy friends, some of which I won’t go into detail about because they may be better talked about in a tell-all book later in my life. My grandmother was not religious and it was my mother’s friend that got her into the whole “born again Christian” thing. My mother really got swept away in all that mess, it was a crazy time. I spent so much time in church over the years and I never uttered a single curse word until I was sixteen, so you can guess why I didn’t discover masturbation until I was twenty-three and completely by accident. I didn’t even know what naked women looked like for a long time. So I know what it was like being the incel, because I saw the guys who women wanted and how they acted – which were not ways I would have wanted to act, because they dealt with smoking, drinking, drug use and whoring around – which of course happened when I moved into a completely different suburban area. The difference is, in those days there were women around for me. As in, there were women that I could date and such who weren’t necessarily the prom queen, but were willing to pursue a traditional male and female relationship with the white picket fence and 2.5 kids. Because we did care a lot about old world values.
We knew about “trannies” for instance (which is what we called them in those days, chicks with dicks) but it wasn’t a common thing or a social movement. Many of the women I dated would have been considered tomboys and I liked that. Of course, now if a woman harbors male attributes, she automatically thinks she was born the wrong gender and becomes a man. A lot of incel type effeminate dudes would have normally hooked up with these kinds of women are now out of luck because of the radical push of feminism and rape culture, making them all out to be rapists and toxic males. I always dated the women who were counter-culture because that was what I liked, but the Goths of the old days are now old and the modern counterculture is what I would consider to be progressivism. Because the old age outcast and modern day incel would not be able to date these kinds of women, they strangely roll over into the Stacy category, where most of them wouldn’t have had much luck even in my day. Alpha fucks and beta bucks is very true and to be honest, these are the kinds of relationships that lasted quite a long time. Of course, we are now living in the age of the atomized individual, but that is a completely different subject. Suffice it to say that these kinds of women respected me and I very much respected them. I even still keep up with some of them on social media, because lo and behold; I have female friends. I also feel that I need to mention my adopted sister. Not by blood, but the closest thing I’ve had to a woman who I could confide in and understand my problems. She’s quite wise to be honest and saw through one of my ex girlfriend’s facades, which really was nervousness because she really liked me and couldn’t say it. Apparently this is quite common and if I could read women like this, I probably would have been with more of them. Anxiety is very common with most women these days and that in itself could be a very big part of why men and women (particularly in the zoomer generation) prefer to hook up instead of having a traditional relationship. As The National Review reports, they seem to prefer calling themselves “a thing” because no one seems able to commit to anyone else anymore.
Pt.II: The Progressive Threat & Walking Away
Women have changed quite a bit since my high school days and these changes are revolting. Call it progressivism or feminism unhinged, these angry women who “don’t need no man” pose a significant obstacle to the male and female procreation paradigm that has existed for centuries now. These are the kinds of women I have a great deal of disdain towards and with slight exceptions, the majority of these are in the late stage millennial or zoomer generations. Any woman who grew up with progressive values and a social justice mindset are carrying them into the future, which as we’ve seen; yields nothing. In other words, that is a very nice cat you’ve got there, Anita Sarkeesian. To which she can say, “nice doll” and I’ll simply exclaim, “touche.” In another age and set of values, I think that the both of us would have been in nuclear families as our parents and their parents before them. But we’re not there. Furthermore, I don’t think we’ll ever be there again. The marriage system is broken, the mainstream media keeps spouting rhetoric to divide people and social media is filled with vitriol towards anyone and anything, so it is not looking good. Frankly though, I don’t think I want to be with anyone for quite a while – at least until there’s any hope of getting this mess ironed out. With thousands of women on Twitch doing fuck all for money, I think there’s a problem. Men used to forbid women from doing that, I know that a former drummer I worked with argued with his ex-girlfriend many times about showing herself off to random men on the internet before they broke up and he met someone else.
When I started getting into the manosphere and I learned about red pill philosophy and what was really going on in the minds of women, it definitely changed my life. If you want me to be honest, it was Karen Straughn who first red-pilled me because when I was a younger floor mat, I trusted women to give me accurate advice as my sister had. The things that Straughn was saying in that video were undoubtedly tough for me to handle, but I moved further in until I found out about MGTOW and became a part of that community; which is a truly male space. It was from listening to other men and finding videos where other men were basically regurgitating some of the things that Straughn had talked about (I’d also discovered Sargon Of Akkad around this time), not to mention the deeper areas of the conversation where men had been discussing far more pressing topics that Straughn was not talking about – that I soon realized there was more to this than merely men walking away from women. This was about men walking away from progressivism. This was about men walking away from madness and needing a place to vent their frustrations about clown world. With people getting canceled by real world Twitter puritans left and right, there are far more pressing issues than men walking away from women and marriage.
For some reason there are still women online that think I hate and despise all women, despite how much of a floor mat that I was in the beginning of my life and how many women I actually hung around with and talked to on a daily basis. I have no problems with those women as they actually knew me in life and not on the internet. They were also not absorbed into all this toxic feminism crap and I used to worship the divine feminine at one point in my life! Folks, I used to worship a Goddess. Years ago, I was all about that. Young women who were still in high school when I was still in my twenties are giving me shit because I became red-pilled in my thirties and understood exactly what progressivism did to the culture and why it changed the women. I knew there was a difference between the women of the nineties and early ’00s and the women of the modern era – it’s literally as It’sAGundam says. To be completely fair, not all of them went that way and you’ll find a scant few as Terrence Popp said that would be marriage material, but the problem with that is you’ll go through a lot of heartache before you do find one – if you do find one. You might die before that time, to be honest. It’s not women that are the problem, it’s progressivism. I have no issue with some diverse values in society and I understand that everyone has their own relative perspective of society. We all have our own subjective truth, but it is not the objective truth and that’s the problem. Everyone is fighting to make their perspective and “lived personal truth” to be the norm and not everyone wants that. In fact, you’ll find that most people don’t. Life is full of anomalies and not even everything in the manosphere is an observable fact. What we do have are studies and statistics however, so that we can compare and contrast different ideas that are thrown about and accepted to some degree. While I’ll admit that I heavily harp on women, it is because of what progressivism has done to them. I’m a strong advocate for the nuclear family, though respect people who choose differently. Obviously, the nuclear family option is not and will probably not be an available option for me for quite some time. It may never be available to me again. It may be in my fifties where I’m dating a woman from Generation A to late-era zoomer before the Overton window shifts back to allow for this kind of relationship. Technology could very well also be my future and I’m willing to allow for that as well. I cannot see the future and have no idea what kind of relationship I will continue to pursue past that of a doll. Right now, I feel as if I’m doing what is best for me during this current time. Until further notice my doll is a means to whether this storm of progressivism unchecked. There needs to be a balance, but there isn’t one and we’re seeing how that is tearing this country and it’s people apart. That is my issue, as women are only a side effect of that because they reflect the current times and culture as an evolutionary trait. If the current times and culture are fucked, then the majority of modern women will reflect that as well as the lack of values in this society. That’s not their fault, so I don’t hate them for it. I will call them out on it however, especially when one resorts to insults when other men like myself have seen these issues and bring it to their attention. You’ve seen the memes, I’ve seen the memes.
The very word “incel” is now nothing more than a slur for a geek, nerd, freak or any other kind of man who would in my era, have been an outcast or a lone wolf. Young zoomer women on Twitch use it as well as disgruntled women on Chaturbate who hop into harass Melody’s fans, since it is quite obvious that the majority of men in those rooms probably fit this script. That in turn causes genuine hatred towards the modern women, and in turn causes hatred towards all of them in the underdeveloped brain. Eighteen may be the age of maturity, but eighteen-year old’s are not mature. Alice Cooper said that best in his song of the same name with the lyrics, “I’m eighteen, and I don’t know what I want.” Which is very true. Even the drinking age of twenty-one in the US doesn’t bestow enough maturity. It can also be said that modern women are less mature than the women of old, which I’ve seen in practice. To finalize this whole thing, the problem right now is progressivism. You can point to these ideologies and see how they’ve corrupted the values that this country was built on. China, Japan and other countries want absolutely nothing to do with this shit, yet they are still censoring their media over there just to appeal to sales figures in the west. As the west has gone progressive. That’s the problem. One more time, that is the problem. Progressivism is the reason why we have the current issues of modern society as it slowly leans further towards socialism and communism. For those who are not aware, it was a woman who taught me that these things were happening – and she’s not wrong. I just didn’t think it would be this much of an issue. I didn’t see it destroying the culture in the way that it has, pitting everyone against everyone, turning politics into cold civil war, making the future an unfriendly police state. Men are in a very bad place these days and I wish I had advice for them. Advice that would help that they haven’t already heard. Though I feel that the best teacher for a man is a place to vent, which they don’t have right now and I just can’t see that being a good thing. Men who have no place to turn for guidance end up going insane and doing things they’ll later regret. I’m sure there’s already a few sitting in a cell right now that regret it, unless they’ve already ended themselves, which seems to be pretty common in the shootings we’ve had lately.
It’s safe to say that The Grim Lord doesn’t hate women and they’ve been a large part of my life since I was a child. Maybe I could have used the information available in the red pill and PUA communities decades ago, but we don’t live in those times anymore as progressivism rises as an oncoming threat right out of my grandfather’s generation. There’s nothing I despise more than progressivism and communist ideologies – which are wholly fascist as they give the state control over the individual. There is no individual under these policies, which is why progressive messages in the mainstream media seek to erase the individual and all shred of rationality with it. Progressivism erroneously teaches that everyone is equal to everyone else in every facet, forcing a bar to be placed on every individual feat of excellence. To raise that bar is to be seen as an offense to the loser. I fully admit that there are men who can excel me in a variety of subjects and I champion their greatness. I champion their skill, their hard work and their ability to persevere through opposition to create life-changing acts within the entirety of human consciousness. With this comes a degree of humbleness, I think – the fact that an individual must come to terms with where they reside on the spectrum of human achievement. This means in no sugar-coated manner, that people will have to realize where they stand and what their options are at a given time, rather than daydreaming about unachievable merits. There will always be a greater individual out there. There will always be someone who currently can excel you in what you’re doing or have done. Even if that person has not been realized yet, or if they are never realized professionally; their talents cannot be denied. To put them into the same category as every other person is a bit foolhardy, because they clearly aren’t like every other person and evolutionary biology will back that statement one-hundred percent. I have fought against this clown college mentality for years now and I’ll continue to do so.
Women are not and have never been the problem. The clear threat is a return to the days of communism, which has subverted the male and female dynamic in much the same way that it had in soviet Russia. I do not want this in my country. I do not stand with the people who want it, nor the neo-Nazis who wish a return to racial superiority; which is just as foolish. Furthermore, I know several women who do not want this in their country either. Even if women are a product of the culture, not all of them have fallen into the communist trap. As my country nears an election year and voices are silenced by a tyrannical Silicon Valley, I realize that there is a great unrest here and that the in-fighting has never been as volatile as it is today. Though rest assured, I have left these pieces here as not only a statement that I do not have anything against women as a whole – but that they have been a large part of my life. I was raised by my grandmother, so it is even insulting to hear that I have a hatred or disdain for women and I’m setting the record straight about that now. Though if they decide to throw me in a gulag for writing this piece and essentially bearing fang against an ideology that threatens to erase the very fabric of America, then so be it. I am the child of a military family, my ancestors fought to protect the freedoms that I have in my country today. I speak with a lot of other men who have served and were able to serve this country in the way that my ancestors had. Progressivism and communism are very serious threats in my opinion and I’ll be exiling myself from this system until the day it changes. When the values of my country return, then I will become a part of it again. Until then, I’m simply going to fend for myself and prepare for the worst while always hoping for the best.
(Update 2023: I’m going to write a third part to this one later on, tying it all up with my current values and beliefs)